happiness

May 10, 2017

Joy

I’ve been thinking a lot about this subject this year. A lot. Here are some things I’ve discovered:

Joy is a choice. A choice that a person must deliberately and constantly make if joy is to be had.

Joy is a habit. So are cynicism and negativity. It’s easy to fall into our old thought habits. Which ones do you fall into? Joyful thoughts or negative ones?

Joy really has very little to do with what is going on around me. I can be in a pit, but how bad the situation feels is directly correlated to how much joy I allow into that pit with me.

Joy is the most attractive quality a person can possess.

It’s never too late to choose joy. Try it. Try it right now.

Do this: pay attention to your thoughts for as long as you can. Look at them as they flit across your brain. Are they joyful, negative, neither? If you come across a negative thought, pay attention to it and try to reframe it as a positive thought. For example: If a car cuts me off in traffic and I notice I’m thinking negative thoughts about that driver, try to change that anger or bitterness to something positive, such as, “I wonder if that driver realizes s/he cut me off? I hope s/he arrives safely.” Or, “That person doesn’t seem to be having a very good day. I hope his/her day turns around.” Give others the same benefit of the doubt you would wish for yourself. Send those positive vibes or prayers out. You may be amazed at the transformation you feel when you start doing this. I was. I continue to be amazed.

En-joy!

Save

November 10, 2016

United We Stand

Wow. What a week it’s been. Could anyone have predicted this election cycle, including the plot twists and turns that happened weekly during the past two years? Like many Americans, I can say that I have never experienced the divisiveness and hatred that I’ve witnessed during these past two years. Like most Americans, I can also say, “I’m glad that’s over.” But is it, really? Something ugly was stirred up in our collective reality. Can we ignore it? Can we afford to? I can tell you from painful experience that ignoring a festering wound by covering it with a Band-Aid just makes things worse.

July 6, 2016

Revolution

Recently I had the great good fortune to hear a sermon by the presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church in the United States, the Most Rev. Michael Curry. We were in St. Augustine Episcopal Church in Gary, Indiana. Bishop Curry is a humble man who exudes joy and love. If you ever have the chance to hear him speak, do it!

Bishop Curry’s sermon was on one of his favorite themes: the Jesus Movement. He shared with us that Jesus didn’t come to start a church or a religion. He came to start a revolution. He said that the revolution is based on two commandments: Love God and Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. He said that if we did those two things, God could change the world.

I’ve been thinking about that since I heard him speak. I think that no matter what religion a person is, or even if a person ascribes to no faith tradition at all, this is a message for all humanity.

What would that look like? What would it look like if each of us committed to loving the person we were with in each moment? Now, I didn’t say “like” the person we are with or “agree” with the person we are with. I said “love.” To love someone is to wish him well; to want good things for her; to recognize God reflected in his eyes.

[To like someone, I would argue, means to want to spend time with that person. There are plenty of people I love with whom I don’t necessarily want to spend time, nor with whom I agree, but I do wish them well and want good things for them.]

December 10, 2015

Hurry! Hurry!

Hurry! Hurry! Is it just that time of year or is it always that way? I find that when I rush, rush, rush, I enjoy life less. Is that true for everyone? How does it happen? Am I trying to pack too much in to one hour, one day, one week, one year? What if I just said, “No. I will do less today.” I’ve tried this and it requires quite a bit of self-discipline. What happens, though, when I do less, is that I’m less rushed. When I’m less rushed I can slow down, smell the flowers, and think. I’m freer to enjoy the moment.

If we’re all rushing around (and I’m making an assumption here that I’m not alone in this behavior) doing, doing, doing, then when do we stop to think and to enjoy? What are we rushing for? Does the person who accomplishes the most win? Is there a prize?

November 12, 2015

Meaning

Meaning. What gives meaning to our lives? As adults, I think it’s something we often search for, whether consciously or not. Some find meaning in religion, relationships, learning, challenging ourselves. By listing these, I don’t mean to minimize them. Each of them can be a profound source of meaning for individuals. Some of them are for me too.

I think that these items, though, are all related to one word: Values. I think that if we are clear about our values, we will be more likely to live according to them and to find our lives have meaning.

November 10, 2015

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is fast approaching. It’s catching me by surprise this year – again. Is Thanksgiving still relevant? Is it important to set aside a day – one day – each year for the task of giving thanks for all that we have been given?

I say, yes! Each of us, no matter how wealthy or impoverished, has much to be thankful for. Maybe it is that we woke up on the right side of the grass today, as we like to say in my family. Maybe it is that the leaves are indescribably beautiful as they change. Maybe it is that no one in our family has had a trip to the E.R. in the past week, the past month, the past year (well, okay, the past month then). Maybe it is that my parents are still alive and in reasonably good health. Maybe it is that our country is not in a civil war at the moment. Maybe it is that there was food for breakfast this morning. Maybe it’s that I can get myself dressed each day without assistance. See, there is so very much to be thankful for.

September 8, 2015

Happiness

What keeps us from happiness? We do! Each day is a gift to enjoy any way we want to. Even if we are in prison; even if we are in the intensive care ward; even if we are experiencing loss of a loved one, we have the choice to drink in that gift and savor its goodness.

Have you ever thought about what a gift hot and cold running water in the house is? (Have you ever been camping? Camping will make one appreciate running water!) The problem is our expectations. We expect to have water at our convenience. It’s only when it isn’t working properly that we notice it.