positive

May 10, 2017

Joy

I’ve been thinking a lot about this subject this year. A lot. Here are some things I’ve discovered:

Joy is a choice. A choice that a person must deliberately and constantly make if joy is to be had.

Joy is a habit. So are cynicism and negativity. It’s easy to fall into our old thought habits. Which ones do you fall into? Joyful thoughts or negative ones?

Joy really has very little to do with what is going on around me. I can be in a pit, but how bad the situation feels is directly correlated to how much joy I allow into that pit with me.

Joy is the most attractive quality a person can possess.

It’s never too late to choose joy. Try it. Try it right now.

Do this: pay attention to your thoughts for as long as you can. Look at them as they flit across your brain. Are they joyful, negative, neither? If you come across a negative thought, pay attention to it and try to reframe it as a positive thought. For example: If a car cuts me off in traffic and I notice I’m thinking negative thoughts about that driver, try to change that anger or bitterness to something positive, such as, “I wonder if that driver realizes s/he cut me off? I hope s/he arrives safely.” Or, “That person doesn’t seem to be having a very good day. I hope his/her day turns around.” Give others the same benefit of the doubt you would wish for yourself. Send those positive vibes or prayers out. You may be amazed at the transformation you feel when you start doing this. I was. I continue to be amazed.

En-joy!

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December 8, 2016

Self-Differentiation (Staying Above the Fray)

Have you ever been in the situation where you were roped into a conflict without realizing it? This used to happen to me all the time. My son would be running late for school, unable to find his sneakers, for example, and meltdown. (He’s an adolescent.) The next thing I knew, I was arguing with him about putting his things where they belong and why he didn’t set them out the night before, etc. The argument escalates and you both part angry.

You know the script. You’ve probably done this routine many times. What had started out as a perfectly serene day for you is now full of conflict and irritation. Do you wonder why this happened? If you think it’s just because the other person is irresponsible, disorganized, (fill in your own adjective here), etc. think again. The problem is that you were drawn into the situation, seemingly against your will. Why and how did that happen?

November 10, 2016

United We Stand

Wow. What a week it’s been. Could anyone have predicted this election cycle, including the plot twists and turns that happened weekly during the past two years? Like many Americans, I can say that I have never experienced the divisiveness and hatred that I’ve witnessed during these past two years. Like most Americans, I can also say, “I’m glad that’s over.” But is it, really? Something ugly was stirred up in our collective reality. Can we ignore it? Can we afford to? I can tell you from painful experience that ignoring a festering wound by covering it with a Band-Aid just makes things worse.

July 6, 2016

Revolution

Recently I had the great good fortune to hear a sermon by the presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church in the United States, the Most Rev. Michael Curry. We were in St. Augustine Episcopal Church in Gary, Indiana. Bishop Curry is a humble man who exudes joy and love. If you ever have the chance to hear him speak, do it!

Bishop Curry’s sermon was on one of his favorite themes: the Jesus Movement. He shared with us that Jesus didn’t come to start a church or a religion. He came to start a revolution. He said that the revolution is based on two commandments: Love God and Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. He said that if we did those two things, God could change the world.

I’ve been thinking about that since I heard him speak. I think that no matter what religion a person is, or even if a person ascribes to no faith tradition at all, this is a message for all humanity.

What would that look like? What would it look like if each of us committed to loving the person we were with in each moment? Now, I didn’t say “like” the person we are with or “agree” with the person we are with. I said “love.” To love someone is to wish him well; to want good things for her; to recognize God reflected in his eyes.

[To like someone, I would argue, means to want to spend time with that person. There are plenty of people I love with whom I don’t necessarily want to spend time, nor with whom I agree, but I do wish them well and want good things for them.]

January 21, 2016

Law of Attraction

Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? Wikipedia says:

“The law of attraction is the name given to the maxim “like attracts like” which in New Thought philosophy is used to sum up the idea that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life.”

Is it possible? Is it true? Does it exist? Does it matter? What if it is, if it is, if it does, if it does? Can we act as though it is possible and true? What does that mean?

November 12, 2015

Meaning

Meaning. What gives meaning to our lives? As adults, I think it’s something we often search for, whether consciously or not. Some find meaning in religion, relationships, learning, challenging ourselves. By listing these, I don’t mean to minimize them. Each of them can be a profound source of meaning for individuals. Some of them are for me too.

I think that these items, though, are all related to one word: Values. I think that if we are clear about our values, we will be more likely to live according to them and to find our lives have meaning.

November 10, 2015

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is fast approaching. It’s catching me by surprise this year – again. Is Thanksgiving still relevant? Is it important to set aside a day – one day – each year for the task of giving thanks for all that we have been given?

I say, yes! Each of us, no matter how wealthy or impoverished, has much to be thankful for. Maybe it is that we woke up on the right side of the grass today, as we like to say in my family. Maybe it is that the leaves are indescribably beautiful as they change. Maybe it is that no one in our family has had a trip to the E.R. in the past week, the past month, the past year (well, okay, the past month then). Maybe it is that my parents are still alive and in reasonably good health. Maybe it is that our country is not in a civil war at the moment. Maybe it is that there was food for breakfast this morning. Maybe it’s that I can get myself dressed each day without assistance. See, there is so very much to be thankful for.

August 11, 2015

The Value of Negative Feedback

Advanced Dental of Dyer IN - Negative Feedback

Why is it that we all avoid negative feedback? Is it that we crave affirmation? Is it that we are so fragile that we cannot abide any disagreement about an idea or thought or body of work that is our own? I understand that. If you don’t like my idea or my work or my outfit, does that also mean that you dislike me or you dislike my judgment? BUT…what if we turned that concept on its head? What if we actively sought out negative feedback in order to improve? Who does that?

Is it that we have closely associated negative feedback with negativity? Or it is that we associate negative feedback with meanness? Do we, like King Louis XIV and Marie Antoinette, fight to insulate ourselves from all unpleasantness? They are a good example of what can happen if we don’t pay attention to the negative feedback around us.

March 20, 2015

Upcoming Move

I want to tell you why I’m so excited about our upcoming move. At Advanced Dental we are all about giving our very best to each and every patient – one patient at a time. For years I’ve been dissatisfied because we have outgrown our current location. Because of that I feel like we’ve fallen short on delivering our very best to each patient. Space is limited, resources were unavailable, the waiting room cold in the winter.

In our new location, we will have everything we need in abundance to deliver on our mission: our best to each patient, one at a time. We will be expanding to 6 dental chairs with monitors in every operatory for patients to see images of their teeth, both from the digital x-rays and from the intraoral camera. There will be a dedicated sterilization area that, while visible to the patients, will be protected from traffic. We will have a private operatory for patients requiring extra privacy; sedation and implant patients, for example. The inside entrance will allow people to wait for loved ones in a comfortable setting with a coffee bar to treat themselves.

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